(Scene opens with three Chanel executives sitting around a conference table. Or maybe being all shadowy like the fashion coalition in Zoolander. I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on this part.)
Exec 1: As you both know, Chanel has asked us for a new flanker to Coco. They want a “luminous oriental”. It’s going to be called Coco Noir. They’re giving us this gorgeous black-and-gold bottle. We’ll have access to Chanel’s exclusive supply of Grasse jasmine and rose. We’ll also be working with Jacques Polge, the perfumer who created the original Coco. I think that we can really knock this one out of the park. What have you got for me?
Exec 2: Well, we already have an excellent oriental in our Les Exclusifs line, Coromandel. We could transfer it to the mainstream line. Even though it’s a niche perfume, it’s definitely not too weird or inaccessible for mainstream tastes.
Exec 3: Ooh, we could do one of those rose-oud perfumes. Those are really popular right now.
Exec 2: No, no, we need something innovative! Something original! Something even richer and more luxurious than the original Coco! We need something that will stand the test of time against all of the disposable perfumes on the market today. We need a true fragrance masterpiece!
(The executives stare intently at each other.)
Exec 1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Execs 2 and 3: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Exec 1: OH MAN YOU ALMOST HAD ME GOING THERE EXEC 2
Exec 3: I’M GONNA HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT ONE FOR THE OFFICE PARTY BWAHAHAHAHAHA
(The executives slowly regain their composure.)
Exec 1: Eh, let’s just tell Polge to add some more patchouli to Coco Mademoiselle.