Chinatown is widely acknowledged to be the most creative (and the most attractively packaged) fragrance in the Bond No 9 line-up. I believe that Fire Island is the runner-up in both categories. Fire Island, which contains notes of cardamom, neroli, white musk, tuberose, and patchouli, has a rather clever shtick: it smells exactly like Ambre Solaire , the famous French sunscreen. “But Ari,” I hear you asking, “Why would anyone want to smell like sunscreen?” I’m so glad you asked, darling readers. It turns out that sunscreen can smell pretty dang good! Also, I have a Cullen-esque fear of sun damage, so the smell of sunscreen makes me feel safe and protected.
Just putting this out there: real vampires do not “sparkle”. They have blonde hair and incredible bone structure and are named Spike and oh my God Buffy the Vampire Slayer why did you leave my life.
The most prominent note in Fire Island is tuberose, traditionally a ball-buster of a scent. Fire Island feels far more mellow, more casual, and more sensual than its tuberose peers. Imagine how Fracas, an ultra-glamorous but slightly imperious tuberose, would smell after laying out on a private beach in the Hamptons for a few hours. Fire Island perfectly embodies those Michael Kors ads, which generally feature unbearably chic women disembarking from private planes or hanging off the side of a yacht.
Disclaimer: I got my sample of Fire Island from the fantastic Chevy Chase Saks. Fire Island is available in 50 and 100 ml bottles at select Saks Fifth Avenues and Bond No 9 boutiques.
SCENTS OF SELF 
That Michael Kors ad disturbs me. She has NO EYES. Consequently, I’m concerned that she might be an android of some kind.
Fire Island does intrigue me, but not enough to buy a sample. Oh, well. Plenty other stuff to try.