Aquolina Pink Sugar Sensual

Okay, let’s just get this out of the way: this perfume represents everything that’s currently wrong with America. And by everything, I mean “the incredible pressure for girls to be sexual beings at an increasingly younger age.”

Despite that klassy ad above, featuring a scantily clad woman and a bottle of champagne, Pink Sugar’s demographic is middle school-aged girls. Older women might indeed wear Pink Sugar, but Aquolina’s low prices suggest that they are angling for young girls looking to spend their allowance. So now I ask you: do we really want a 12, 13, 14 year old girl to be “sensual”? Because I’m pretty sure we’ve seen this movie, it’s called Lolita, and it’s all fun and games before your mother dies and Humbert Humbert tries to roofie you.

Oh, and then you die giving birth to a stillborn child on Christmas Day at the age of 17. Merry Christmas!

“But Ari,” I hear you asking, “What about young girls who are naturally sexually precocious?” Well, I believe that many of the things that we consider to be “natural” are actually the result of rather insidious societal socialization. Things don’t happen in a vacuum these days. Why would such a young girl behave in a sexual manner? Perhaps it is indeed “natural”, or perhaps she caught on early that our society generally values a woman’s sexuality more than her intellect or character. It’s far easier, and often more rewarding, to be a Kim Kardashian than a Gloria Steinem.

Remember when Jessica Simpson kept trying to tell us that the whole dumb blonde shtick was just an act, and she was actually very intelligent? Maybe she is! But we’ll never know, because our society simply does not care. We’re much more concerned with how poor Jessica is becoming a Fatty McChub-Chub, because GOD FORBID that she be anything less than sizzlingly sexy 24/7. If she ceases to be a sex symbol, then we might have to define her by something other than how hot she is! THE HORROR!!!!!

Also, y’all are smoking some prescription-strength crack. THERE IS NO FAT ON THIS WOMAN’S BODY. YOU ROCK THOSE MOM JEANS, J. SIMP.

So does Pink Sugar Sensual live up to the name? Well, it’s the same Pink Sugar that we all know and love, now featuring fruity notes! I guess it’s supposed to evoke that “be fruitful and multiply” school of sensuality? I don’t even know, y’all. We’ve got some tangerine up in here, a little bergamot, and that damn licorice again. It’s a generic little thing of little significance- much like women in our society! Zinnnnng! Well, time for me to go make my man a sandwich. Hey, how did this computer get in the kitchen?

Disclaimer: I sampled Pink Sugar Sensual at Nordstrom. Aquolina Pink Sugar Sensual is available at Nordstrom and Sephora.

9 thoughts on “Aquolina Pink Sugar Sensual

  1. I know a few adults that wear the original Pink Sugar, but it truly is marketed directly toward teenagers. One of my closest friends has a nearly full bottle of this and whenever we’re playing around with her perfume collection she’ll comment on how she hasn’t touched the stuff since she was 14 or 15.

    Won’t be trying this offering any time soon.

    1. It’s great that her tastes have matured! I always feel a bit strange when I recognize it on more mature women… suggests a bit of a Peter Pan complex, I think.

      1. I’m pretty sure it was a gift because knowing how she was in high-school Pink Sugar doesn’t seem at all like something she’d buy herself and the fact that it was still mostly full after all these years.

      2. Oooh, I don’t think I’d buy that one as a gift for anyone. I used to buy Ralph Lauren Hot for a lot of my friends when we were younger… gourmand, but nicer than Pink Sugar, and only $29 for 1 oz.

  2. Pink Sugar is heeeedeous. I shun the flanker as well. Especially because of that d*mn ad. And I concur about the insidious cultural messages about female sexuality. My own daughter, who just turned 15, actively avoids the juniors section of any clothing store because she finds the selections there “too revealing.” I sometimes worry a little that she’s so concerned with her brain that she’ll forget she has a female body that deserves to be celebrated too.

    I actually read Lolita when I was about 18, and was two-thirds through the book when it finally occurred to me that Humbert was Freakin’ Nuts (that IS a medical term, right?). Have never seen the movie. Ugh.

    And Jessica is NOT FAT. The mom jeans were not all that flattering a look for her, to be honest, but she’s a very lovely woman and she should be as curvy as she wants to be. Especially since blonde jokes were just *made* for that girl.

    1. If that’s not a medical term I don’t know what is!

      I love hearing about The Bookworm. We grew up without a TV, so all we had were books (to which my mother credits my perfect SAT verbal scores). While I often wish that my current rack could have made an appearance in middle/high school (my new favorite hobby is rejecting all of the lame-ass “so we should hang out” facebook messages from high school boys), I think that focusing on the mind over clothes or boys could never really be a bad thing!

      The mom jeans really didn’t do much for her. I think Jess looks best in hourglass-style dresses.

      1. Well, good for your mom and her stash o’ books. We have a TV – ONE TV – and it tends to gravitate to Discovery, History Channel, Animal Planet, and ESPN, with side excursions to the Food Network (for me) and Fox News (for The CEO).

        I read all the LotR books to Bookworm at bedtime starting when she was about eight (editing archaic language on the fly – and lemme tell you, ol’ JRR really needed a good tough editor to cut down on his tendency to ramble). I knew she was bright, but I’ll never forget the evening I read about the King of Rohan leaving his niece in charge while he went off to lead his army in battle. He makes this comment about giving her a sword – and Bookworm sat straight up in bed like she’d been goosed and said, “Why does she need a sword if she doesn’t get to go to the battle?” And that prompted the discussion of how, particularly in fantasy novels, somebody’s weapon is never JUST a weapon, it’s always got at least one symbolic meaning (usually having to do with that person’s status or personal characteristics), if not more. In Eowyn’s case, her uncle wasn’t giving her a way to protect herself or just putting her in charge, he was symbolically giving her the authority to mete out capital punishment according to her own judgment, an extremely significant testimony to Theoden’s trust in her. And Bookworm totally got that, at nine years old. I’m so proud.

    2. I can’t reply to the bottom one, so I’m responding to the top comment- that story is extremely encouraging and brings a smile to my face.

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