Sexytimes Part I Forget It’s Been Awhile Okay?: Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels Heavenly

Lately I have begun to suspect that in Justin Timberlake’s noble attempt to bring the sexy back, he actually brought back something else entirely. Closely cropped Jew-fros, possibly, or maybe Timbaland’s career. Whatever it was, it wasn’t sexy. I say this because people seem rather confused lately when it comes to the topic of “sexy”.

In his defense, guys, it must have been pretty hard to find sexy with that blindfold on.

Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez recently put together a list of the five sexiest scents for Allure Magazine. These scents were: Bvlgari Black, Bond No 9 Chinatown, Guerlain Insolence, ELdO Secretions Magnifique, and Chanel 31 Rue Cambon. If you have any familiarity with perfume whatsoever, you will know that this list is hilariously silly. Insolence and Secretions Magnifique should never be worn IN PUBLIC, much less to attract someone.

Then we have Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels Heavenly, “America’s #1 Fragrance”. What exactly does this mean, by the way? Chanel Coco Mademoiselle is America’s best-selling fragrance, so that’s out. Maybe VSDAH is #1… in our hearts? We’ll wear the more socially acceptable Coco Mademoiselle, but secretly we never stopped loving VSDAH? Whatever the case may be, VSDAH lends credence to my highly scientific theory that there is no correlation between the number of Victoria’s Secret models advertising a perfume and the sexiness of that perfume. There may, in fact, be a negative correlation.

The notes, according to the Victoria’s Secret website, are: quince, cardamom, white peony, freesia, white musk, sandalwood, vanilla. VSDAH pairs a squeaky-clean white musk note with a bit of vanilla. The idea that anyone would find VSDAH sexy is frankly laughable. Oh, it’s certainly pleasant, if a bit heavy-handed, but sexy? VSDAH is as prim as can be. If VSDAH were a woman, she would be the type who wears her hair back in a severe bun. The only way that you could find this sexy would be if your wildest fantasies involved being shushed by a librarian.

Disclaimer: I own a small bottle of VSDAH. It was from a long time ago, I swear.

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2 thoughts on “Sexytimes Part I Forget It’s Been Awhile Okay?: Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels Heavenly

  1. Goes to show that you don´t know what REALLY sexy is! There is more fire behind that librarian smelling like VSDAH than you´d ever imagine! (I am joking, but also not… ).

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