DKNY Golden Delicious smells like acrid hairspray. This may not actually be a bad thing depending on your viewpoint. There are so many perfumes that smell like acrid hairspray these days that I assume that there must be a fair number of acrid hairspray aficionados out there somewhere. If you are one of these acrid hairspray aficionados, then Golden Delicious may well be your zenith. Unfortunately, I do not count myself among your ranks. I found Golden Delicious unbearable, and if any of you buys it, I will have to hunt you down and quarantine you. That would be inconvenient and potentially quite awkward for us both, so please back away from the bottle of Golden Delicious. I do like the ad, though. Lara Stone is a symbol of hope for us gap-toothed ladies.
Rating: 
1/5 Harajuku Lovers
SCENTS OF SELF 
I do love actual real Golden Delicious apples. They’re so versatile. (Favorite apple ever? JonaGold. Hands down.)
I haven’t liked a single one of those DK Delicious thingies, not even the original. Think I’ll give this a miss, too.
But you’re right about the ad. Let’s have more of that “delicately-made-up woman wearing pretty sweater in golden sunlight” look, as opposed to Slutty Ho Wearing Half of Sephora’s Inventory and Practically No Clothes.
But nothing makes me feel more inclined to buy a perfume than Slutty Ho Wearing Half of Sephora’s Inventory and Practically No Clothes! I don’t understand this particular marketing approach (Victoria’s Secret is a perpetrator, too) of advertising to men when your target customer is female.
The ad is indeed the best part. And while I agree it’s nice to see “normal” in an ad, and I think gaps in teeth are cute, the proximity of gap to bitten apple and the sort of “Uh, yeah” expression on her face may add up to the kind of hilarious they didn’t intend. I like to imagine a story in which the photographer said something stupid like “Oh, I didn’t realize you would be able to bite into the apple, you know, because of your teeth” and she gave him that scathing look.
That may well have happened, Lara Stone has awful luck on photo shoots. In a Vogue interview, she said that she was once asked by the photographer if her boobs were real. The photo shoot was with a rope, you see, and apparently the pressure of the rope could burst implants. Eeek!
O.M.G.
And we all know that gaps between front teeth are a sure sign of a “slutty ho”, even one swaddled up to the chin in a roll neck sweater. My mother also told me to watch out for cleft chins, dimples and eyes being too close together.
Favourite apples: Discovery, Golden Russet and and the all-conquering Cox’s Orange Pippin.
I’ve never seen a Cox’s Orange Pippin. It’s mentioned in my favorite Roald Dahl book, though – Danny, The Champion of the World.