Diary of a Mad Perfume Blogger

So this is a new feature: I share a few stories from my week and talk about the perfumes that I wore during the week’s events. Please let me know if you think that I should make this feature permanent, or if this should be its first and last appearance.

Friday, January 6th: I am about to begin to a perfectly peaceful day of perfume shopping at Towson Town Center when my ex of four years calls and informs me that he is an hour away from Baltimore. I am, of course, in seven-year-old sweatpants (which proclaim in huge white letters that they were a party favor from Stefanie Milner’s Bat Mitzvah) and look about as put together as Ke$ha. While I have no issues with seeing my ex, who remains a good friend, I am quite grumpy that I will have to miss out on perfume shopping. Still, the day was not a total loss on the perfume front: my 6’5″ ex was able to help me reach some Lush bath bombs (Satsumo Santa and Cinders) that were shelved a wee bit high for a five-footer. I nod along as he tells me about his plans to work as a mining engineer in Australia, happy to hear that he is doing so well.

Saturday, January 7th: I am determined to make up for the perfume shopping that I was denied on Friday, so I return to Towson Town Center and hit up Nordstrom with a gift card. I buy a Cartier Baiser Vole gift set and delight in its gorgeous, photorealistic lily. It will be perfect for sorority events, which are all white dresses and faux virginity.

Sunday, January 8th: I spray on the playful Prada Candy and head down to our local pub just in time to watch the Steelers lose. Baltimore residents unequivocally loathe the Steelers, so everyone is in a good mood. One lady enthusiastically tells me that “Jesus done shown them justice” as she attempts to eat my french fries. I eventually give up and share them with her, and am rewarded with lovely stories about her grandchildren in Philadelphia. Jacob! Kaylee! Your grandma says hi!

Monday, January 9th: Today is the first day of my intersession class “The Fitzgeralds in Baltimore”, taught by a member of the Rockefeller family. I do my best to appear presentable, putting on a full face of makeup for the first time in months and brushing my hair so that I look a little less like Snape. Damn, I’m nervous. I know plenty about the Fitzgeralds, but very little about doing well in classes. I am non-neurotypical (this is a nice way of saying “a total aspie”) and am very prone to accidentally contradicting and/or offending professors. I rummage through my perfume collection and curse myself for not owning more intellectual perfumes, which turns into cursing myself for not being more intellectual in general. I eventually settle on L’Artisan Safran Troublant, which strikes me as the right choice to meet a beautiful Indian friend for lunch.

On my way to class, I notice a man attempting to fight a tree. The tree puts up a valiant resistance, but is ultimately no match for his fists of fury. I am surprised to find myself relating to the poor tree. I finally take my seat in the classroom and try not to feel too out of place at the 13th best university in the country.

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29 thoughts on “Diary of a Mad Perfume Blogger

    1. A fun time?!?! This week was totally depressing! Future weeks will be much funnier, I promise. I’m so glad that you enjoyed it, thank you so much!

  1. Well I for one approve of this feature, as a blogger who is forever banging on about her sundry doings in trains, planes and automobiles.

    13th best university sounds pretty darn good – I bet the USA has hundreds of them!

    Your reference to the tree puts me in mind of that famouslly gnomic Polish proverb:

    “The goat jumps at the slanted tree.”

    Glad the long arm of the ex-BF came in handy in the end and I like the idea of your looking like a faux virgin version of Snape. : – )

    1. There are over 4,000 universities in the U.S. I very often don’t feel like I belong here, but I will do my best while I am stuck here!
      The tree fighter did have a touch of the billy goat about him, come to think of it…

    1. Thank YOU for reading about my week! I would recommend running “total aspie” by your local aspies. I try to have a sense of humor about being this weird, but I can totally understand if someone else does not feel comfortable with the term.

  2. Please keep this. It’s nice to hear about the adventures of another perfume loving university student other than my daughter. Would love to hear how your roommates, classmates and other friends react to your perfume love.
    Oh, BTW, I live in the SF Bay Area and we don’t like the Steelers much either.

    1. It is nice to know that the Steelers are universally unpopular!!
      I am definitely trying to get some posts together where I ask friends and peers to weigh in on several different fragrances. I am proud to say that I have trained my boyfriend into having an excellent nose. Tell your daughter she is not alone! Maybe she might want to get a twitter and join the perfume-loving community on there? It is a very active and supportive group!

    1. Thank you so much, Linda! One reason I started this feature is that I am hoping it will encourage me to have more exciting weeks so that I can have funnier things to report back on to y’all!

  3. I would love to hear about your weekly escapades. Also, yay Fitzgeralds! I love Scott’s work and am fascinated by Zelda, so the class sounds like fun. Yes, I just said that college sounds like fun. What’s wrong with me? I blame my parents.

    P.S. Please promise me you aren’t going to resort to brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels. Although it’s a bad day when you look like Ke$ha and can sympathize with a beat up tree, whiskey is not the answer. Just think of the dental bill.

    1. I’m not sure I can make you that promise, Selina. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, and then I NEED that Jack Daniels to try to sort out my identity issues!!!

      It may come as a surprise considering how much I complain about Hopkins, but I really do enjoy most of my classes. This Fitzgerald one promises to be fun too! Have you read any of Zelda’s work? It’s hard to find these days, only ever seen it available online.

  4. don’t bore me with your 5-minute speech about nerdy things…

    -just kidding…-

    so please don’t ask me more boring questions and just do it!
    hahahahahaaaa….

    1. Thank you, Rosie! I couldn’t really find any pictures that captured me in “mad perfume blogger” mode, so I just went for “mad in general”.

  5. Oh Ari, this is going to be gooood! You even made a testing week entertaining. Being from the UK, I found hearing about your real-life college goings-on fascinating. I love your unique perspective on things on too, I really appreciate that. The more personal posts aremy favourite. The perfume bits are a bonus! Can’t wait for more.

    1. Thank you so much, Tara! This is such encouraging feedback. This was a slow week, because it is currently “intersession”, so I only have one class. I am hoping that future installments will be more exciting!

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