Saturday, January 14th: I manage to drag my father into a Lush store. This is significant because my father cannot smell. He lost his sense of smell after breaking his nose in a car crash before I was born. As a result, all perfumes smell the same to him, and he considers my perfume habit a bit frivolous and silly. He would ordinarily never accompany me into a perfume store, but I’m banking on Lush’s quirky image to persuade him. My father is an oddball. A terribly lovable oddball, of course, but he likes the weirdest things. He is currently trying to teach himself how to play the ukelele.
The Lush saleswoman very generously offers to demonstrate a bath bomb for us. She detonates a sparkly purple one named Phoenix Rising, which immediately begins merrily whizzing around the bowl. My father is tickled. Not surprising, considering that he is essentially a mad scientist. Okay, okay, “inventor”. He creates devices that detect breast cancer. I once had to help him radiate earthworms for one of his experiments. He goes home with a bath bomb and some wasabi-flavored Toothy Tabs. Victory!
The Lush saleswoman also compliments me on my new haircut. I have not in fact, gotten a haircut, but I go with it because nobody ever compliments me on my short hair (which makes me look vaguely like Snape).
SOTD: Lush Vanillary, a delicious caramelized vanilla, which I spray on while my father browses the bath bombs. Vanillary is even weirder than Serge Lutens Un Bois Vanille- where UBV uses woods, a natural accompaniment to vanilla, Vanillary incorporates a dissonant jasmine note.
Sunday, January 15th: My boyfriend Drew is home from Iowa today! We have a delicious dinner with my family at Benihana’s. Like the hibachi fiend I am, I eat every damn grain of fried rice and find myself carrying a food baby by the end of the meal. I decide to name the food baby Jessamina, after my Italian great-aunt. My father (remember the part where I told you he was an oddball?) enthusiastically invites Drew to go snowboarding with him tomorrow. Sadly, we have to get back to Baltimore.
SOTD: Cartier Baiser Vole, the only perfume that I remembered to bring in my purse. Unfortunately, the lovely lily fragrance wilts in the face of the hibachi grill.
Monday, January 16th: It’s MLK day! I decide to watch an Uhura-centric Star Trek episode to honor Dr. King, who famously convinced Nichelle Nichols not to quit the show. Nichelle had gotten fed up with William Shatner’s demands for more and more lines and screen time (Oh, Bill, you absolute cad), so she had handed in her letter of resignation the night that she met Dr. King. As he shook her hand, Dr. King told her that he was a huge Star Trek fan, that it was the only show that he allowed his children to watch.
Upon hearing that she was planning to quit, he gave the kind of speech that only MLK could: “[Your role as Uhura] validates what we are marching for, because three hundred years from today, there we are! And there you are! In all our glory and all your glory! And you CANNOT leave!” The next day, Nichelle Nichols marched into Gene Rodenberry’s office and asked him to rip up her letter of resignation. (I’m not going to lie: I tear up every time I hear that story!)
SOTD: Comptoir Sud Pacifique Vanille Mokha. I haven’t yet figured out how to use my housemate’s fancy new coffee maker, so I figure that a coffee scent is the next best thing.
Tuesday, January 17th: Great success! I have figured out how to use the fancy new coffee maker. The rest of my morning is less triumphant. Zelda has decided that she is no longer afraid of water. While I am very happy for her, this makes my bath time somewhat less peaceful than it used to be. Normally my morning bath is when I catch up on my favorite perfume blogs, but today’s bath mostly consists of trying to fend off an unreasonably vicious kitteh. Why is my cat so scary, you guys? I am almost positive that she is not supposed to be biting me this much. I am thinking of having a DNA test done on her. We know that she is half Siamese, but I suspect that the other half is jaguar or cheetah.
Later, Zelda, Drew and I catch up on Top Chef. The other chefs are being mean to my favorite contestant, Beverly. I pray that they will be struck with karmic retribution in the form of undercooked risottos and overcooked fish dishes. When the show ends, I get started on my class reading for tomorrow: Sophocles’ The Theban Plays. These include the story of Oedipus and his daughters. They are kind of super depressing. Spoiler alert: EVERYONE HANGS THEMSELVES. Because my study methods involve creating crudely-drawn, deeply unfunny comics about the material, I present to you: Oedipus Comics!
SOTD: Escada Rockin’ Rio. I needed something mindless and cheerful after all of that everyone hanging themselves business.