I used to have a lot of complexes. Like, a lot. I made Woody Allen look well-adjusted. Miraculously, over the last year and a half, I have successfully reduced the number of things about which I have a complex to just one: my intellect.
I was always a reasonably bright girl. My grades were never particularly good, thanks to a monster case of undiagnosed ADHD, but I did very well on standardized tests. When I somehow managed to get into the Johns Hopkins University chemical engineering program, I felt confident that I would do well.
And I was so bad, you guys. Study-more-than-anyone-you-kn0w-and-still-fail-every-test levels of bad. I was just the worst chemical engineer. When I begged the director of the Student Disabilities center for help, he suggested that I might be better suited to a community college. It only took a semester before I became convinced that I was the dumbest kid at Hopkins. (Never mind that all but one of my chemical engineering friends either dropped out of the major or dropped out of the school entirely.)
I started making self-deprecating jokes about my ineptitude, figuring that it was so obvious that I needed to beat other people to the punch. I began to empathize with Legally Blonde to an unnatural degree.
Things have gotten a little better since I switched to a non-engineering major (and since our Student Disabilities center got a new director), but most days I still walk to class fearing that today will be the day that everyone discovers how stupid I really am and throws pig blood at me.
But not on the days when I wear Black Vetyver Cafe.
Most of my perfumes are soft, warm, sweet. Not Black Vetyver Cafe. BVC is cool-toned and razor-sharp. It smells like a cold cup of black coffee set to a background of woody vetiver. The vetiver note was an inspired choice; it brings out the inherent woodiness of the coffee bean. This is the perfume that I wear when I need to feel smart. It’s the one I reach for on days when there is no room for self-doubt. I spray it on and begin to remember that easy confidence that I once had. Black Vetyver Cafe makes me tough. Makes me brave. It helps me to walk into class with my head held defiantly high, unafraid of pig blood.