Okay, so maybe buying a massage bar for yourself when you have no one to massage is mildly pathetic. But why should all the single ladies have to miss out on a perfectly good coffee scent just because Lush decided to release it in massage bar form? That’s not what Beyonce fought for, y’all.
I’ve tried every coffee scent on the market, from Bond No. 9 New Haarlem to Jo Malone Black Vetyver Cafe to Montale Intense Cafe, in my quest for dark-roasted perfection. The search continues: despite being literally studded with coffee beans, Percup isn’t quite my holy grail coffee fragrance, either. But it does perfectly replicate the smell of stale coffee beans, a familiar, comforting scent for the over-caffeinated among us. Sadly, Percup’s scent disappears after only 20 minutes on the skin, and the massage bar is too large and heavy to make a properly portable solid perfume. I guess I’ll just have to find someone to massage me! Excuse me while I cry into my cat.
SCENTS OF SELF 
I’m surprised to hear this only lasts about 20 minutes. I have Wiccy Magic Muscles and it lasts foreeeever, especially on fabric. I’m not sure if the scent actually ever faded, or if I just did laundry.
I actually just got the Pearl massage bar….for myself….to use as a solid perfume. Totally not pathetic. Plus, my cat seems to like rose. Maybe if I trim his nails, I can convert all of his kneading energy into a massage?
Oh, the Pearl massage bar smells fantastic! Lush needs to put that Rose Jam fragrance in everything.
I wonder if all this time that I thought Zelda was clawing at me, she was only trying to offer her massage services…
Yes.
I am also hoping that cat saliva is an effective facial exfoliant.
It’s kind of funny that with all those coffee beans it doesn’t smell enough like coffee. I hope it’s at least moisturizing since the scent doesn’t last.
Deeply moisturizing! So moisturizing, in fact, that it’s a little greasy. So mostly I just keep it in its little Lush bag and sniff it from time to time!
I’ve never even heard of a massage bar… looks like I need to get with it!
Start with my all-time favorite, Soft Coeur! A seriously edible cocoa/milk chocolate scent.
I can’t find a good coffee fragrance either. The lush store is intimidating to me. Every time I go in there, I feel like a sales person is crowding over me. Maybe it’s just my mall? Ive gone in three times and left with nothing because I feel like they are trying to push me into buying something. Maybe they have sales quotas. I would rather they tell me than torture me.
If I remember correctly from my Lush interview in November, the overall store has daily sales quotas, but the employees don’t work on commission. I hope that you have a more positive Lush experience someday, Katherine! They have quite a few worthwhile products.
Haha another funny post! I used to work at starbucks … Its one way to smell like coffee!
I can relate- I once worked at Subway, and always left smelling like sandwiches!
You really brightened my day with this! I actually started my perfume journey decades ago when I was a flight attendant and came off the planes reeking of burnt coffee, cigarettes and, on Las Vegas flights, booze and meal missiles as well. But the burnt coffee was the most pervasive, and I couldn’t stand it.
I was just eyeing a bar of soap thinking of using it as a car freshener, but I think my Eau des Missions will work better. My cat is pretty good at giving very brief massages, so I guess I’ve got that covered. Kinda.
Loved your post. Laughing out aloud and spitting into my coffee.
Ok- i am not currently drinking coffee but I would have totally spat into it if I was.
Actually, i also i didnt laugh aloud as my babies are sleeping.
But i did love your post..:D
Aw! I buy the massage bars just to use as solid lotion bars. I love Therapy and I like Tender is the Night. Maybe I’ll check out Percup. 🙂
I’ve never tried Therapy! I use Soft Coeur as a lotion, too, but to be completely honest, I use it less often than traditional lotions because I find massage bars fairly greasy. But they smell so gooooood!