Quarter-Life Crisis

As of July 26, I have officially hit late twenties! (Which makes Scents of Self eight years old, y’all. Scents of Self is A THIRD GRADER. If she’s following in my footsteps, next year she’ll have to switch schools after a few “recess incidents.” Eight year old Ari had not yet quite mastered that most crucial of lessons, “hitting is bad.”) Staring down the harsh reality of never again (or, uh, before) qualifying for “25 under 25” lists, I gave in to my quarter-life equivalent of the mid-life crisis red convertible: a new perfume display shelf! (I had a college roommate whose mom celebrated getting divorced by buying a helicopter. She ended up selling it almost immediately, because “there’s just no place to park a helicopter.” We’ve all been there, girl.)

Shall we stroll down perfume storage memory lane to see just how extensive the upgrade is?
The mini-fridge stage! Pros: protected the perfumes from a newly-adopted Zelda. Cons: it was actually a wine cooler, so the perfumes kept falling through the intended-for-wine-bottles slats.This bookshelf loyally served me from high school all the way through my first post-graduation apartment. That apartment, however, was located in New York, and just a few trips to The Strand quickly exceeded its capacity.A very cute step shelf from Target. Not even close to enough room for the books.

Back to the fridge! Yes, it’s the safest place for a perfume to be (protected from heat and light), but now no one else can see all my beautiful bottles!The most recent storage solution, an eight cube Ikea Kallax. There’s finally enough room for both the perfumes and the books, but it’s not the most elegant piece of furniture.

My previous perfume organizational systems were always pretty much just “prettiest bottles up front,” but I feel like I should be taking advantage of the shelf’s segmentation. Any advice on the best ways to sort a collection?

What Are Your Most Neglected Perfumes?

WhyDontYouLoveMe_Beyoncé
Image is from my all-time favorite Beyonce video, “Why Don’t You Love Me?”

I was the kind of kid who played with her toys on a rotating schedule so that none of them would feel left out. (Exception: Spice Girls Baby Spice Barbie, who was exiled to the closet for being even creepier than most Barbie dolls.)

 

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This is the last face you see before you die.

Apparently I’m a significantly less lofty-minded adult, because I definitely play favorites with my perfumes. Two scents in particular have gone unsprayed for literally months:

Guerlain L’Heure Bleue EDP: Once you go parfum, you never go EDP. Who could be satisfied with the plain old EDP after a taste of the exquisite parfum formulation? I wish I had never set nostrils on that $337 seductress.

Serge Lutens Santal Majascule: My last few boyfriends have been all about the light, clean perfumes: Atelier Cologne, Chanel 28 La Pausa, that sort of thing. No matter how sensual I find Santal Majascule’s chocolate-rose combination, it’s way too heavy for these uncultured barbarians. It’s like a fabulous piece of Agent Provocateur lingerie when he’d rather see you in one of his old t-shirts.

Okay, your turn: what are your most neglected perfumes?