Justin Bieber Someday

Why are you licking his ear?

When I first heard the name of Justin Bieber’s debut fragrance (God, I can’t believe I just typed those words), I immediately thought of Aragorn’s rallying speech in The Return of the Kings. You know the one: “Someday we may fall, but it is not this day!” Unfortunately, after spending some quality¬†time with young Bieber’s perfume, my version of Aragorn’s sermon is significantly less uplifting.

“Someday, perfume companies may realize that the tweenage mall rats to whom they are so aggressively marketing cannot actually afford their perfumes, but it is not this day! Someday, perfume companies may realize that a fancy bottle and a celebrity spokesperson don’t hide a bad perfume any better than autotune and perfectly flippy hair hide a bad singer, but it is not this day!”

It is a TRAVESTY that nobody hires this beautiful man anymore. A travesty, I say.

Someday’s notes, as per the Sephora website, are mandarin, juicy pear, wild berries, jasmine, creamy florals, vanilla, and strong musks. The pear and vanilla come through the most, rendering the scent very sweet. It bears more than a passing resemblance to Juicy Couture’s Viva La Juicy. Thankfully, unlike many other celebrity scents, Someday is quite light. I tested it along with Rihanna’s new fragrance and preferred Someday, simply because it was quieter and therefore less obnoxious. Someday is inoffensive to smell, although highly offensive to those of us who expect more from the perfume industry.