Quarter-Life Crisis

As of July 26, I have officially hit late twenties! (Which makes Scents of Self eight years old, y’all. Scents of Self is A THIRD GRADER. If she’s following in my footsteps, next year she’ll have to switch schools after a few “recess incidents.” Eight year old Ari had not yet quite mastered that most crucial of lessons, “hitting is bad.”) Staring down the harsh reality of never again (or, uh, before) qualifying for “25 under 25” lists, I gave in to my quarter-life equivalent of the mid-life crisis red convertible: a new perfume display shelf! (I had a college roommate whose mom celebrated getting divorced by buying a helicopter. She ended up selling it almost immediately, because “there’s just no place to park a helicopter.” We’ve all been there, girl.)

Shall we stroll down perfume storage memory lane to see just how extensive the upgrade is?
The mini-fridge stage! Pros: protected the perfumes from a newly-adopted Zelda. Cons: it was actually a wine cooler, so the perfumes kept falling through the intended-for-wine-bottles slats.This bookshelf loyally served me from high school all the way through my first post-graduation apartment. That apartment, however, was located in New York, and just a few trips to The Strand quickly exceeded its capacity.A very cute step shelf from Target. Not even close to enough room for the books.

Back to the fridge! Yes, it’s the safest place for a perfume to be (protected from heat and light), but now no one else can see all my beautiful bottles!The most recent storage solution, an eight cube Ikea Kallax. There’s finally enough room for both the perfumes and the books, but it’s not the most elegant piece of furniture.

My previous perfume organizational systems were always pretty much just “prettiest bottles up front,” but I feel like I should be taking advantage of the shelf’s segmentation. Any advice on the best ways to sort a collection?

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Kenzo Amour

What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.)

The men of Anchorman each have their own unique perspective on the subject.

From weather correspondent Brick Tamland: “I love… carpet. I love… desk. I love lamp. I love lamp.”

Brian Fantana, your reporter in the field, adds, “I think I was in love once. She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.”

And, of course, five time Emmy award-winning anchor, Ron Burgundy: “I love scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch. Here it goes. Down into my belly.”

While Brian Fantana would probably argue that love smells like Odeon Sex Panther,

Kenzo Amour offers a rather different interpretation. Amour is a mind-numbingly comforting scent, the snuggie of the perfume world. The official notes, from Sephora, are: frangipani blossoms, cherry blossoms, tanakha wood, incense, rice steam, vanilla, and white tea. It smells like jasmine rice straight from the rice cooker, with a soft overlay of vanilla. I suspect that gourmand-loving men would be all over this. Amour has absolutely minimal staying power and a rather musky drydown.

There’s nothing of the passion or excitement of new love in Amour. (If that’s what you’re after, do give Sex Panther a try- it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.) Instead, Amour represents the coziness and security of a more established relationship, the kind where you feel comfortable going without makeup or wearing sweats. That sense that love will be around for the long haul.

Amour has been compared to both Hypnotic Poison and Lolita Lempicka. Neither comparison is accurate, in my opinion: Amour lacks the jasmine note of HP and the sparkle of LL. It is also probably less compelling than either of those scents. Amour is unashamedly bland, sacrificing interest for comfort. But hey, sometimes you don’t want to be challenged by your perfume. Sometimes you just want to smell pretty. Amour is highly recommended for such an occasion.

Disclaimer: I purchased my bottle of Amour from Sephora. It can be found at Sephora, Nordstrom, and various websites. Odeon Sex Panther can be found in Brian Fantana’s closet.